Pants, pants, pants

A week or so ago, Dan, Jamie and I went to the 1/2 off -1/2 off store on Manchester to see what we could find. I knew Jamie needed some new sweatshirts and a pair or 2 of new pants. Trying on clothes for Jamie is a job... He feels he has to fully re-dress including belt and shoes each time he try's something on. I have shared with him many times -as I stand outside the dressing room door - just try on the pants- no belt, no shoes. This must have been how he was originally taught to try things on, so he fights doing this every time- and after a 30 minute wait outside the curtin... he still did not have the first pair on. Argh! I again reminded him... Please, no shoes and no belt. So, we finalized the deduction of items. 4 shirts and 2 pants. When we got home... He tried them on again. The one pair of pants- the zipper is totally broken. Dear me! 

Me: Jamie- take that pair off and bring them out to me. We will take them back next week and get another pair.

This was the conversation a week ago. 

This morning... I get out to the kitchen and am doing dishes... Jamie appears in the doorway- looking a little disheveled a little out of sorts....

Jamie: I have had a long morning! I have been trying on all my pants to see which one you were talking about with the broken zipper? 

Me: trying them on? To find the broken zipper? You must be looking for the pants on the dinning room chair- you simply could have asked me. Why did you try them all on?

Jamie: to find the zipper.

Me: you couldn't just look at the zippers?

Jamie: I had to put my brace and belt and then zip them.

Me: Wow.... I didn't know the Jamie process was so detailed in zipper useage. Next time, ask me what pants I'm talking about... Okay?

Jamie: I couldn't remember what color they were.

Me to myself.... OMGoodness.... Thank you Lord.... I have a full brain to use- even though it's said we only use 12% or so. Life is rough and a lot of extra work when you only have parts of one. We all need to be very grateful. 

Today, I have learned to be thankful for my mind. 

Amen.

Make your own Kind of Music

Mama Cass- "make your own kind of music, sing your own special song, even if nobody else sings along".... Hmmmm as I sit in the car waiting for Jamie in the parking lot at church... I wonder if God gives each of us our own special song and somewhere along the line- we let someone tell us- "that's a stupid song" or quit humming you sound like a goofus!" Or some other statement to squash that still small tune... Dream... Vision... We all have one, or 2 or 3... And something happens.... We get busy, we start making excuses, we let others kill our flame. Well, this year is my year to fan the flame! I know my prayer has been for the Holy Spirit to blow on that small ember of a dream that he placed in my soul. 

I'm here doing this job. Taking care of a man who most of the time, okay- a lot of the time seems very ungrateful, very privileged and very uncaring of the "people who live with me". I have been trying to teach a 58 year old man to live graciously, be thankful for the little things, respect people and their property, learn the value of the truth in everything you do. It has not been an easy - almost 2 years... But, we have made it through the fire and the hail. 

Thank you Jesus!

Cousin Visit - Sonic and Minions!

 This past Friday, Jamie and I took his cousin Ami out to lunch and on a quick shopping trip for her grandchildren. Ami is from France and there were some communication gaps- but, overall we did very well. She speaks French and Spanish mainly and some English. We decided to visit and go to lunch at Mimi's Cafe for lunch. 

We all enjoyed our lunch and as we sat as Jamie and Ami sang to each other-we looked at pictures of Ami's children and grandchildren- she says I need an American Toy Store! I said ok we will find one... She was looking for Minions and Sonic.... We found Minions at Walmart... Sonic was a challenge- we found the new Toys R Us Outlet in the valley and they had just what she was in search of for her grandchildren. We had a great visit and she came to our house to see where Jamie lives. We asked her to go to dinner tonight, since she leaves this week. Bon Voyage, Mon Ami!

As you can see Jamie looks a lot like his Mothers side of the family too!

Colds and baking....

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend and we enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving with Dan, Jamie, my Mom, myself and the 2 dogs (Miss Izzi and my Moms dog Mini). We had a nice time - packed up Mom with left overs and took her back home. Then a day off before Saturday brunch with my brothers and Mom and Aunt at our place. It was a busy day off preparing for our brunch - but we all enjoyed the time together. 

Sunday was church and recovery at home. Monday was.... Miki has a bad cold and Jamie was her watcher/caretaker/hoverer. 

We had quite the day with me feeling terrible and Jamie wiping things down with Clorox wipes. Izzi on my lap under the covers and me just wanting to sleep. Which was never going to happen. 

Tuesday was another day of sickness still feeling terrible and knowing that we had to make something for church on Wednesday night - as Jamie goes to Choir practice, potluck and bible study. We decided on brownies- I knew it would be as fast as we could do. After a quick lesson in thorough hand washing- we were off.... Pulling out measuring cups and mixing bowls. Pans and spoons. Pre heating the oven... I was coaching and he was doing.

Over all it was not a bad day of learning. It did take 1 1/2 hours to make 12 cupcake size brownies - that would have taken me 10 minutes or less. But- he did it. I was proud. Cold and all!

Haircut time

Jamie loves the attention he gets in getting his hair cut. Usually Dan is the one who takes him on this adventure- because Dan likes to keep his hair very short too; this means getting it cut precisely every 4 weeks for these two. Since we have been living at the condo, Jamie has gone from long side burns to a more modern look of less and less to cover his cheeks. He said he likes them longer in the winter to keep the wind from his ears. I say wear a hat unless you are trying to look like Elvis?!?! So yesterday- I ask the nice lady at Great Clips to go a little shorter on top- as not to look like Lucy from peanuts. She agrees he has a fluffy look going on and they go to the chair to trim him up. She asks about his family....  He says he has no family. (Lie) she asks if he is spending any time with anyone for the holidays? He says, yes- church people. They are like family. He corrects his earlier statement to say all his family lives very far away. She asks about the length of his side burns and he says- take them off!( I'm floored) so off they go.  He proceeds to tell her that he doesn't see his family but, hopefully he will talk to them on the phone. She is kind and tells him that is a nice way to be together without being there physically. He agrees.  I pay for his cut and we get out to the car. He says to me, why was she asking so many questions? I tell him that's her job. That the stylists always like to make small talk and get to know their clients. 

Charles Shulz - the Peanuts Movie

Jamie, Cindy and I went on another matinée adventure to the Chesterfield Mall Cine to see the new Peanuts Movie. I was looking forward to some good wholesome movie magic - the kind Hollywood has seemed to place in a back shelf along with the golden oldies.  I'm not sure if this screenplay was fully written by Shulz or if it was a compilation of his short cartoons... But, it was a continuation of the story of Charlie- the beloved "blockhead" who can seemly do no right and gets nothing done.  Charlie, a form of all of us... Continues to attempt flying his kite, play baseball, skate and kick a football. In this duel story, we also see Snoopy as the "Red Baron" with Woodstock forever by his side... Fighting for the love of Snoopy Girl "FeFe" and rescuing her on his beloved dog house fighter plane. Charlie of course saves the day for his sister Sallie and galiently tells the truth about his friend Peppermint Patty as well as swings an award to get the "red haired girls" attention at the dance only to be stopped by the sprinklers. Charlie doesn't see anything he has done as good- only that he can only mess things up. This eventually gets him the attention of the dreamy "red haired girl" - which was his wish all along this tale. 

So, did Cindi and Jamie like the movie? 

I believe that Cindi loved the whole movie- it kept her entertained. Jamie slept through the first half but seemed to enjoy the second half. He stated that it had to do with how Charlie felt about himself and how others thought he was really a nice kid.  Profound, Charlie was thinking of others instead of himself. Hopefully, Jamie sees this as a lesson on looking beyond just how we feel- especially when we help others!

Oh what tangled webs we weave....

Today is Sunday. Jamie has wonderful people from church who have volunteered to take him back and forth to church on Sunday's since Dan and I are starting a church plant in the city of St.Louis. In saying all that, when Dan and I arrived home today after church. I received a phone call from a friend of Jamie's stating she had heard some disturbing news from Jamie just a few minutes earlier on the phone and she just wanted to see if I knew anything about it. Jamie had told her that someone had left him a note and it had stated that he was no longer to see her because if he did there would be consequences from the community. She also said that Jamie had just told her about "said note" and that he had it in his bedroom. In turn, I assured her that I would be checking right into it and that until now I had not heard any such story. I knocked on Jamie's door and said for him to please come out to the living room as we needed to talk and please bring "the note!" After about 5 minutes- I went back to his bedroom door and said please bring "the note" you talked to your friend about and let's talk. He cracked his door and was looking around for a "note". After he huffed and searched his pockets and looked around his room. No note. We walked to the livingroom and I started the interagation. 

M: Where is this note?

J: I tore it up and put it in the dumpster behind the other buildings across the street.

M: Why?

J: I was upset by it.

M: Let's go find it- I need to see the note. 

We march ourselves to the dumpsters behind the condos across the street (see picture) 

J:I put it in the back of this one, but, it no longer exists.

M: Why does it no longer exist? Did it ever exist?

J: Yes, but I put it in here the other day after my walk.

M: What other day? Thursday when you went to Jackies?

J: Yes, that's when I found it on the porch out front. 

M: How did you not explain to Dan or I about this note and you just brought it up 3 days later? The dumpster is full- so you and I get to dig through this dumpster to find this note?!?!?

J: I don't think it's here. What if we don't find it? 

M: Ever? Or ? If we don't find it? Did it vaporize? Is it an invisible note? If this note is not here- we have no proof anyone is threatening you! Does the note have legs? 

J: I don't remember where it might be.

M: As in which of the 3 dumpsters? Do I have to climb into all 3? Jamie- if there is no note in these dumpsters- you need to tell me right now! 

J: I don't think it's here.

After this we went back inside to have another hour long conversation about the note and how he was going to talk to his pastor today incase another note "shows up" on what he should do about it. All the while the note is said to be typed, then handwritten, then it said his name, then it didn't.... 

Confabulation is a big word associated with TBI Tramatic Brain Injury. It means lying and believing that it's true. Anyone who knows Jamie- knows he is quite a story teller....and not in a good way. After an hour or so discussion and my restating we could go through the dumpster again. Jamie admitted he had lied. No note. Really? 

I called his friend and apologized for Jamie and asked her -in the future to please call me if a story seems untrue. 

Jamie no longer has use of a phone in his own room - he now has to use the kitchen phone- as he cant be trusted - behind closed doors- to tell the truth. 

Lesson is - in this house- if Jamie is near- you might smell smoldering pants. Please check with Dan or myself with all possible "miss statements" - I also say Jamie is working on his "truth vocabulary"! This may sound harsh and uncaring. I assure you it is neither of those things.  Anyone who knows Jamie - understands his difficultly with telling the truth. We are trying to teach him that his words have consequences. He has said "mis-statements" that can effect himself and others around him. Jamie's mind will not let him think beyond a 2 step process. So, we are working on his process to see the immediate response of his words and actions. It is my job to teach him that his thankfulness and joy in living everyday be his top priority. 

Honesty is the best policy, it shows you have respect for the other person.

Amen